My Identity

March 9th, 2010

Monday

My Daily Scripture Readings: Judges 13-14; John 1:29-51; Psalms 80; Proverbs 12:27-28

SCRIPTURE: John 1:42; Psalms 80:19

"Jesus looked at him and said, 'You are Simon, son of John. You will be called Cephas (which, when translated, is Peter).'"(John 1:42)

"Restore us, O Lord God Almighty; make Your face shine upon us that we may be saved."(Psalms 80:19)

OBSERVATION: These two separate passages do not seem to have much to do with one another. However, both spoke to me this morning. Actually, the passage in John came to life for me only after I read the notes that my Bible provided for that verse. First off, my prior knowledge told me that Jesus changed Simon's name to Peter (Cephas), which means "Rock" in Hebrew. I also know that Peter later becomes the Rock of the early Church. The notes in my Bible put a little twist onto the story, adding with it a new insight that I never completely grasped until this morning. The notes state that "Peter was anything but a rock; he was impulsive and unstable. Jesus named him not for what he was, but for what, by God's grace, he would become.

The next passage of Scripture that stuck out to me ws in Psalms 80. Within this chapter, there are 4 separate passages that mirror Psalms 80:19, where David is asking God for restoration and safety that only God Almighty can provide. There is hardly a day that goes by where I don't need some sort of restoration from Him, who is worthy to take away my sins. Lately, I've needed restoration of energy and desire to continue pushing on. Of course, that is not to say that I am not also in need of restoration from my sinful ways, as well.

APPLICATION: First off, this morning I am a defeated man. I can bring to the table a list of things to do that are ominous, oppressive, and a huge burden upon my shoulders. Secondly, I can prove to anyone interested in listening that it is due entirely to my laziness and poor decisions that has brought me to this point of feeling buried. I did it - no one else is to blame. Sure, I can point to certain individuals that have not exactly helped me along the way, but the journey is my own doing.

The end result that anyone will come to after looking at my life and my decisions is that I am a sinner, who is lazy, lacks conviction, and has little to no follow-thru. Then I stumble upon John 1:42 and feel a little better about my situation. Peter was not a rock, yet Jesus called him a rock. Peter later became a rock of the Church, but, again, it wasn't because of anything that he was. He did not get there through his hard work and diligence. Granted, in the end, hard work and diligence was no doubt needed. However, he did it simply by loving God and being obedient to His will for his life. It was through God's grace ALONE that he became a rock.

In my own life, I am often called Donald Duck by those closest to me due to my tendency to show a quick temper at times. I wear my emotions on my sleeve and when I become frustrated I tend to lack the ability to hide it. Such reactions have the tendency for people to point out aspects of my behavior or life that are more negative than positive. There is nothing more frustrating to me than to be reminded of who my daughters take after whenever Susannah starts to yell out loud in her wildcat voice, or when Audra throws something down in frustration. In a word, I HATE IT!!. I never hear anyone saying things such as Audra having a big heart to help others like her Daddy, or anyone commenting that my girls sweet dispositions have anything to do with their Daddy. In short, I never measure up to the man that I feel a Man of God is supposed to be. After all, a Man of God would never be given the nickname of Donald Duck, nor would he be apt to become so easily frustrated at the drop of a hat. He also would not be so lazy and disorganized and undependable as I seem to have become.

In the end, I journal, I pray, I try, try, and try to be a Man of God that I've been called to become. It works for a few days - sometimes longer - but then I fall flat on my face, well short of the finish line. In the past, I would allow God to help me up, brush the dirt and grime off my clothes, and carry on. Lately, however, I have stayed down longer than normal. I have become more and more discouraged by my inability to "Stay the Course."

Instead of being eager to continue, I fall into this mindset that asks what the point is in even trying. Granted, it is a flawed mindset, which I realize, but the thought weighs heavier on my mind than in years past. Perhaps it is a sign of getting older like an older boxer struggling to get up off the mat after getting hit hard by someone two times younger than myself. Whatever the case may be, I have a poor vision of myself this morning.

It is this poor vision that has me looking to God this morning for Restoration. I truly need Him to "Restore us, O God Almighty; make Your face shine upon us, that we may be saved." And, thankfully, that is when He answers me with the story of Simon's new identity.

He meets Simon and instantly sees all of his faults. He sees his impulsiveness. He sees his unstableness. He sees his future failings and shortcomings. Yet, despite all that, He still changes his name to Cephas, giving him the Hebrew name meaning Rock. And, He does so not because of what he is to become through his own abilities and effort, but only through God's grace and restoring power. How does this apply to my life this morning? Simply that I need to quit trying so hard and to quit getting frustrated whenever I fall short of my own expectations to measure up.

PRAYER: Abba Father, Your grace is sufficient for me. I am nothing but a lowly sinner apart from You. I can do nothing without You. Help me to remember this and be encouraged by it because it is only my realization of my weaknesses that leads me back to the foot of the Cross. I need You to restore me, Father. I need You for every aspect of my life - not just in the mornings when I have my Bible open and my coffee mug beside me. Until I learn that - truly learn that - I will never receive Your restoring and healing power for myself. Worse than that, I will never be able to accept my new identity, which You gave me at the Cross. I love You, Father, and long to walk hand in hand with my Lord and Savior.