My Identity

March 9th, 2010

Monday

My Daily Scripture Readings: Judges 13-14; John 1:29-51; Psalms 80; Proverbs 12:27-28

SCRIPTURE: John 1:42; Psalms 80:19

"Jesus looked at him and said, 'You are Simon, son of John. You will be called Cephas (which, when translated, is Peter).'"(John 1:42)

"Restore us, O Lord God Almighty; make Your face shine upon us that we may be saved."(Psalms 80:19)

OBSERVATION: These two separate passages do not seem to have much to do with one another. However, both spoke to me this morning. Actually, the passage in John came to life for me only after I read the notes that my Bible provided for that verse. First off, my prior knowledge told me that Jesus changed Simon's name to Peter (Cephas), which means "Rock" in Hebrew. I also know that Peter later becomes the Rock of the early Church. The notes in my Bible put a little twist onto the story, adding with it a new insight that I never completely grasped until this morning. The notes state that "Peter was anything but a rock; he was impulsive and unstable. Jesus named him not for what he was, but for what, by God's grace, he would become.

The next passage of Scripture that stuck out to me ws in Psalms 80. Within this chapter, there are 4 separate passages that mirror Psalms 80:19, where David is asking God for restoration and safety that only God Almighty can provide. There is hardly a day that goes by where I don't need some sort of restoration from Him, who is worthy to take away my sins. Lately, I've needed restoration of energy and desire to continue pushing on. Of course, that is not to say that I am not also in need of restoration from my sinful ways, as well.

APPLICATION: First off, this morning I am a defeated man. I can bring to the table a list of things to do that are ominous, oppressive, and a huge burden upon my shoulders. Secondly, I can prove to anyone interested in listening that it is due entirely to my laziness and poor decisions that has brought me to this point of feeling buried. I did it - no one else is to blame. Sure, I can point to certain individuals that have not exactly helped me along the way, but the journey is my own doing.

The end result that anyone will come to after looking at my life and my decisions is that I am a sinner, who is lazy, lacks conviction, and has little to no follow-thru. Then I stumble upon John 1:42 and feel a little better about my situation. Peter was not a rock, yet Jesus called him a rock. Peter later became a rock of the Church, but, again, it wasn't because of anything that he was. He did not get there through his hard work and diligence. Granted, in the end, hard work and diligence was no doubt needed. However, he did it simply by loving God and being obedient to His will for his life. It was through God's grace ALONE that he became a rock.

In my own life, I am often called Donald Duck by those closest to me due to my tendency to show a quick temper at times. I wear my emotions on my sleeve and when I become frustrated I tend to lack the ability to hide it. Such reactions have the tendency for people to point out aspects of my behavior or life that are more negative than positive. There is nothing more frustrating to me than to be reminded of who my daughters take after whenever Susannah starts to yell out loud in her wildcat voice, or when Audra throws something down in frustration. In a word, I HATE IT!!. I never hear anyone saying things such as Audra having a big heart to help others like her Daddy, or anyone commenting that my girls sweet dispositions have anything to do with their Daddy. In short, I never measure up to the man that I feel a Man of God is supposed to be. After all, a Man of God would never be given the nickname of Donald Duck, nor would he be apt to become so easily frustrated at the drop of a hat. He also would not be so lazy and disorganized and undependable as I seem to have become.

In the end, I journal, I pray, I try, try, and try to be a Man of God that I've been called to become. It works for a few days - sometimes longer - but then I fall flat on my face, well short of the finish line. In the past, I would allow God to help me up, brush the dirt and grime off my clothes, and carry on. Lately, however, I have stayed down longer than normal. I have become more and more discouraged by my inability to "Stay the Course."

Instead of being eager to continue, I fall into this mindset that asks what the point is in even trying. Granted, it is a flawed mindset, which I realize, but the thought weighs heavier on my mind than in years past. Perhaps it is a sign of getting older like an older boxer struggling to get up off the mat after getting hit hard by someone two times younger than myself. Whatever the case may be, I have a poor vision of myself this morning.

It is this poor vision that has me looking to God this morning for Restoration. I truly need Him to "Restore us, O God Almighty; make Your face shine upon us, that we may be saved." And, thankfully, that is when He answers me with the story of Simon's new identity.

He meets Simon and instantly sees all of his faults. He sees his impulsiveness. He sees his unstableness. He sees his future failings and shortcomings. Yet, despite all that, He still changes his name to Cephas, giving him the Hebrew name meaning Rock. And, He does so not because of what he is to become through his own abilities and effort, but only through God's grace and restoring power. How does this apply to my life this morning? Simply that I need to quit trying so hard and to quit getting frustrated whenever I fall short of my own expectations to measure up.

PRAYER: Abba Father, Your grace is sufficient for me. I am nothing but a lowly sinner apart from You. I can do nothing without You. Help me to remember this and be encouraged by it because it is only my realization of my weaknesses that leads me back to the foot of the Cross. I need You to restore me, Father. I need You for every aspect of my life - not just in the mornings when I have my Bible open and my coffee mug beside me. Until I learn that - truly learn that - I will never receive Your restoring and healing power for myself. Worse than that, I will never be able to accept my new identity, which You gave me at the Cross. I love You, Father, and long to walk hand in hand with my Lord and Savior.

More than Lip Service?

March 1st, 2010

Monday

My Daily Scripture Readings: Judges 7:1-8:17; Luke 23:13-43; Psalms 78:32-55; Proverbs 12:21-23

SCRIPTURE: Psalms 78:35-37

"They remembered that God was their Rock, that God Most High was their Redeemer. But then they would flatter Him with their mouths, lying to Him with their tongues; their hearts were not loyal to Him, they were not faithful to His covenant."(Psalms 78:35-37)

OBSERVATION: I have always made the connection between the people of Israel in the Old Testament and myself. Statements that continue to be repeated in the Old Testament focus on the continued turning away of the Israelites. Statements such as "Again the Israelites did evil in the eyes of the Lord," and "He did evil in the eyes of the Lord, just as his father(s) before him had done," are repeated over and over again. When I was younger, I used to be amazed at the stupidity of God's People to continue to turn away from Him. The older I get, the more I can relate to their on-again-off-again behavior/walk with God, because I find myself hitting similar bumps along the path of my own Walk with Him.

No one wants to admit that he or she has a type of faith consistent with the Israelites that wandered in the desert year after year because of their own disobedience, however, at least I can take solace in one thing. The Israelites, even in the midst of their worst moments before God, were still considered His People. He still loved them, protected them, and kept His promise to them. Yes, it is true that He disciplined them and rebuked them for their unfaithfulness, but He never left them. Whenever they cried out to Him, He answered their call.

The solace I take from this is that God had a compassion for His People even before sacrificing His Son on the Cross for our sins. How much more compassion will He have for me now that Jesus died to pay for my sins? While this does not grant me a free pass to do whatever I want and sin in every way imaginable, such a reflection reminds me that God is, indeed, my Rock and my Redeemer.

Just as I feel like the Israelites sometimes when I fall away from God, I also feel like them when they return to Him and "remember that God was their Rock, that God Most High was their Redeemer."(v.35) It goes without saying then that I would join them when "they would flatter him with their mouths..."(v.36) Before long, without truly meaning to, I end up "...lying to him with [my] tongue. [My] heart was not loyal to him..."(v.36-37) It is this path of disobedience that I have decided to write about and reflect on this morning.

APPLICATION: The past two mornings have been a Wake Up Call for my soul. I liken it to an icy cold bucket of water being thrown on my apathetic and drowsy self. While the process initially is hard to begin, ultimately it refreshes the Spirit. This morning I feel refreshed, renewed, and re-energized. My wife has commented on the difference she has seen in me in just the short while since returning to Scripture. She has even made the comment, "I have my husband back." Like the Israelites, I have cried out to You and You have heard me. I have turned back to You and You have opened up Your arms and drawn me back into Your shelter once again. Today I "remembered that God was [My] Rock, that God Most High was [My] Redeemer."(v.35)

My thought, or concern, this morning is this patter of "On Again-Off Again" behavior with regards to my Walk with God. Since I follow in the Israelites footsteps so often, how do I prevent the inevitable from occurring? How do I keep my words of Praise to Him from becoming empty flattery or lip service? How do I keep my heart loyal to Him? How do I prevent my tongue from lying to Him?

I believe that the answer to those questions might be very simple, while the carrying out of the solution may be next to impossible. The answer is to guard my heart and mine at all time; to constantly be praying to Him for protection and guidance; to constantly meditate on His Word throughout the day. And, after doing that, pray some more.

I have been down this road MANY times before and it ALWAYS starts out great. I'm happy, I have my mind right, and I carry myself like any good Christian should. Yet, inevitably, somewhere down the line I trip, I stumble, I lose my way, and my praise becomes little more than lip service. If I were to say that this same thing will happen again, how can I justify taking this moment to "get right" before God?

I have wrestled with the question of "Why?" these past three months. Why do I always try so hard when I'm just going to fall on my face again anyway? I guess a similar question would be, "Why take a shower when I'm just going to get dirty again?" Perhaps that is oversimplifying it, but it is my response to my pragmatic mindset, as of late.

Something needs to change within me, starting this morning, that takes me beyond the feel good feeling I get when I first turn back to Him. I need to understand that I am still a sinner and will continue to sin REGARDLESS of how hard I try not to. This does not mean to give up and refuse to try, but it does mean to allow myself that limitation of human ability. After all, it is this limitation that reminds me of my need for a Savior. Verse 38 follows up the statements about the Israelites' lying tongues and disloyal hearts with this: "Yet he was merciful; he forgave their iniquities and did not destroy them." If God could have that much compassion for His People, who experienced His miracles with their very eyes, in a time before the ultimate sacrifice was paid at the Cross, how much more compassion and grace will He afford to give to me?

Ultimately, my point this morning is that I need to accept the fact that I will slip up. In that moment, I need to accept the Jesus' forgiveness immediately instead of thinking I need to first give it some time before returning. That may seem obvious, but so often my mindset tells me that if I screw up, I need to wait AT LEAST 24 hours before journalling. I want to be on fire for God, like a candle that is lit, bringing light to the darkness. Yet, even a candle can be blown out temporarily without losing its ability to be relit. I can use that analogy for my own life. My flame may get snuffed out momentarily by a string of frustrations that distract me from His Power, yet the moment I return to Him, my soul is still able to be relit and catch flame. The more consistent I return, the longer my flame will burn. It is when I attempt to fan the flame myself that I usually fall short, extinguishing any flicker of hope that my words and actions are anything more than lip service.


PRAYER: Father, I thank You for another morning spent in Your presence. You know that I very easily could have used the time to better prepare myself for today at work. Granted, we also know that I would not have used my time as wisely in that endeavor as I should. Regardless of that, the point is that I have much on my mind at the moment. My To-Do List continues to grow exponentially and I am helpless to slow it down. The weight on my shoulders is heavy and I need to unload this burden and lay it at Your feet. I don't know that You will magically make it all go away, or complete all the tasks for me, but I do know that You will give a new mindset-a new focus- that will allow me to live a life full of joy, full of peace, in the midst of the storm that surrounds me. Thank You this morning for reminding me that You are my Rock and Redeemer. Show me how to maintain my Walk with You without my talk becoming nothing more than lip service. Show me how to keep this flame in my soul lit and burning bright for You. I love You and am basking in the warmth of Your embrace!

Wake Up Call-The Conclusion

February 28th, 2010

Sunday

My Daily Scripture Readings: Judges 6; Luke 22:54-23:12;
Psalms 78:1-31; Proverbs 12:19-20

SCRIPTURE: Judges 6:13-16

"'But sir,' Gideon replied, 'if the Lord is with us, why has all of this happened to us? Where are all his wonders that our fathers told us about when they said, 'Did not the Lord bring us up out of Egypt?' But now the Lord has abandoned us and put us into the hand of Midian.'"(Judges 6:13)

"The Lord turned to him and said, 'Go in the strength you have and save Israel out of Midian's hand. Am I not sending you?'"(Judges 6:14)

"'But Lord,' Gideon asked, 'How can I save Israel? My clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my family.' The Lord answered, ' I will be with you...'"(Judges 6:15-16)

OBSERVATION: Yesterday, I read about David's struggle to find a reason why God had abandoned him, and wondered how long it would be before God would hear him and answer him. By the end of David's struggle, he reflected on God's amazing miracles of deliverance in the past focusing on the parting of the Red Sea. Ultimately, David found himself in awe of God's majesty and realized that God is always with him even if His footprints are not easily visible.

Today, I read the story about Gideon and heard much of the same despair and anguish in his own words. He too questioned God's presence. He too believed god had abandoned him and his people. Yet, the Angel of the Lord told him to go, as he was-in the strength he had at THAT MOMENT-and save Israel out of Midian's hand. Even after Gideon mentions that he is the least of the least, the Angel of the Lord merely responds with, "I will be with you..."

APPLICATION: Yesterday, I stopped short in my explanation of how I felt I related to several verses in Psalms 77 from my own walk with God. Since December 7th of '09 until now, I often experienced moments when "my soul refused to be comforted(Psalms 77:2b)." I found myself in a rut Spiritually, in a bind at work, and frustrated with people around me. From past experiences, I knew that if I placed my cares at His feet, I would be comforted and find peace. Yet "my soul refused to be comforted."

There were many times since December 7th that "I remembered You, O God, and I groaned (Psalms 77:3)." Whenever my wife asked me to pray at the end of a day, I did so with a twisted gut. Whenever I said a prayer for my daughter as I tucked her in, I did so regretfully. I groaned because all thoughts of God reminded me of how far away I had strayed. I felt like a hypocrite whenever I took time to pray because my own life was not a strong reflection of my words that I was praying.

Even though my time away was only a little less than 3 months long, it felt like a lifetime. My wife saw changes in me that were not desirable and I felt myself becoming easily angered and very loose with my tongue. We both "...thought about the former days, the years of long ago(Psalms 77:5)." I desired to return back to the time when my mornings were consistently spent at His feet.

In the end, David reflected on the awesome miracles of the past where God delivered His people. He focused on the parting of the Red Sea, which I found interesting for three reasons. First, that miracle focuses on God's power over Nature itself. God controlled and bent the will of the Seas and the Sky to His own. If He has power to control the forces of Nature, surely He has the power to deliver me from any problem I currently find myself in.

Secondly, David focused on the "Greatest Miracle of Deliverance of HIS time, which was the parting of the Red Sea. I am at an advantage in this because I can reflect on an even greater miracle of deliverance-the deliverance of sin by His death on a cross AND resurrection from the dead. He conquered death itself, and that story alone should be enough to remind me that God is bigger than all my problems.

Thirdly, David mentions that "Your paths led through the seas, Your way through the mighty waters, though your footprints were not seen(Psalms 77:19)." That verse is similar to the one about only being able to see one set of footprints in the sand during times of trouble. After the man questions Jesus about where He was when the man was going through troubled times, Jesus responded by saying that those footprints were His, as He was carrying the man through the trouble. Ultimately, it told me that even though I have felt myself to be so distant from God since December, God had never left my side and remained with me in spite of myself.

That was Yesterday's message and today just goes further to estabish this idea. Gideon, as well, felt abandoned by His God, but when the Angel of the Lord tells him that he will deliver his people from Midian, he immediately responds with, "How can I save Israel? My clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my family(Judges 6:15)." As of late, I, too, have felt weak and powerless to change many things, to overcome my own struggles and problems, and have felt as if it was pointless to continue to try and wake up every morning to journal. After all, what difference does it make? I also fell into the mindset that I need to first be committed to change and become a more devout Christian BEFORE deciding to return back to spending my mornings reading the Bible on a regular basis. Until I made this commitment, my problems were my own and my struggles were my own. I had made my own bed, as it were, and now I needed to sleep in it until I cleaned up the mess I had made. Once I had cleaned up my mess, then, and ONLY then could I return to such actions in the morning that brought me closer to His feet.

As I read the response the Angel of the Lord gave to Gideon, I felt his response was for me as well. He replied, "Go in the strength you have...Am I not sending you(Judges 6:14)?" On top of that, his response to Gideon's statement that he was the least of the least, he simply said, "I will be with you(v.16)." The message I take from that is this: "Come as you are AT THAT MOMENT regardless of any past deed or thought. And, in response to not feeling strong enough or important enough to matter, to simply focus on the FACT that God will be with me. That's it-there is nothing more to discuss.

PRAYER: Dear Father, thank You for seeting me back on my journey with You. There are definitely issues that remain in my life that I need to give up to You. However, today is just one step on my journey back to Your heart. I know You are by my side all the time even when I feel estranged from You. I thank You for that assurance this morning. I ask that You continue to mold me and bend me to Your Will for it is only when I am conformed to Your Will that I truly find peace. I love You, and am enjoying every moment of The Journey!

Wake Up Call

February 27th, 2010

Saturday

My Daily Scripture Readings: Judges 4-5; Luke 22:35-53; Proverbs 12:18; Psalms 77

SCRIPTURE: Psalms 77:2b, 77:3, 77:5, 77:11-12, 77:19

"...my soul refused to be comforted."(Psalms 77:2b)

"I remembered you, O God, and I groaned;"(Psalms 77:3)

"I thought about the former days, the years of long ago;"(Psalms 77:5)

"I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago. I will meditate on all your works and consider all your mighty deeds."(Psalms 77:11-12)

"Your path led through the sea, your way through the mighty waters, though your footprints were not seen."(Psalms 77:19)

OBSERVATION: Psalms 77 paints a picture of a troubled man (David) who calls out to God and believes that he is not being answered the way he desires to be. He is in anguish until he begins to recall earlier times spent with his Father. I could be missing the mark, but I believe his first reaction was one of frustration and anger because those were much better times than where he presently found himself. I believe he may have even used that reflection of the past as evidence to how far God had slipped away and distanced Himself from David.

David continues to question God's motives and begins to wonder how long he will be kept waiting by God? How long will God withhold His love from David? How long will God's promises remain unfulfilled. This line of thinking seems to pull David out of his stupor, and he chooses to shift from moping about in the present, and begins to meditate and remember "your miracles of long ago.(v.11)" He begins to "meditate on all your works and consider all your mighty deeds.(v.12)"

Such a reflection leads David to consider God's amazing deed of parting the Red Sea. He begins to reflect on God's power to make the wind and the sea conform to His will. David ends his reflection by stating, "Your path led through the sea, your way through the mighty waves, though your footprints were not seen. (v.19)" In the end, David comes to be in awe of God's power and, perhaps, with his last comment about unseen footprints, comes to the realization that just because it may seem as if God is not present in his life at that moment, that He is actually closer than he thought.

APPLICATION: The journey that David goes through in Psalms 77 from an almost bitter resentment towards God to falling on his knees in awe of God's power, is reminiscent of my own journey-or, at least, I would like to believe that it is. I believe that I have yet to truly be back on my knees, however, I feel I am on my way back.

December 7th, 2009 was almost three months ago. It was also the last time I set aside a few moments out of my day to reflect on God's Word and Will for my life. That time between then and now has witnessed me attempting to do everything on my own - make my own decisions, satisfy my own needs and desires - as I saw them to be, - and ultimateely solve my problems on my own.

*** TO BE CONCLUDED ***